The Uniform Interview

So I went to my Tilted Kilt ‘fitting’.  Since the restaurant was still under construction there was nowhere there to try on the uniform so they booked a hotel across the street.  It seemed a bit creepy though especially since there was some sort of motorcycle show convention type thing outside with many biker guys hanging around who somehow knew what the suite was being used for.  It was a little weird but at the same time if you can’t handle guys leering at you then maybe it’s a sign you aren’t cut out for working at a place like the Tilted Kilt. 

I saw some really pretty blond typical California looking girl walking around who appeared lost.   I asked her if she was looking for the suite. Sure enough she was looking for the same thing so we teamed up to find the room together since it was a very confusing floor plan.  Inside there was no bed (now that I think if it did the hotel actually have to take it out for the fittings or were there certain rooms that came like that?) The manager Theresa was there with some really cute extremely skinny brunette girl already in the uniform.  The brunette girl worked at another Tilted Kilt and was there to help administer the uniforms and I guess be a representative as to how it was supposed to look like on.  They needed to fit us to make sure we fit the uniform and order our sizes.

The uniform reminded me of what you’d get at an adult store (the skirt actually has Velcro for easy removal) or for a very sexy Halloween costumes (think Mean Girls, sexy bunny, sexy mouse, etc).  The top is a kilt fabric bra with a tiny white shrug that has the brand name on it.  The costume is accompanied with long white socks decorated in red what they called ‘flashings’ with black Mary Jane shoes.   It looked really cute and sort of fun.

The blond girl I came with had the perfect Tilted Kilt Girl look.  It was kind of pointless to even have this girl try on the outfit because she was one of those girls that you knew would be a definite yes.  She also seemed like one of those girls that could probably mess up orders more than most and be cut waaay more slack because of how pretty she was.

Mercedes, the other girl trying on the outfit unfortunately wasn’t that cute.  Not to be mean or anything, I just want to be as accurately descriptive as possible.  I couldn’t really envision her working there.  She was a little older probably around 29 or so and had this short ugly haircut.  When she tried on the kilt her stomach spilled out of it and it looked really bad.  She wasn’t an obese person but there is a difference between being technically obese and looking fat in a skimpy outfit.   

Even a relatively thin person would look like shit in that outfit if they weren’t toned because it totally shows off your midriff.  The skirt is really short so if you had any type of cellulite on your thighs (like most women do), it would be very obvious.  In fact I think the Hooters outfit is easier to pull off because it hides so much more.  The shirt covers your whole stomach and there are also dark tan nylons to suck everything in, as well as being a shield from unsightly cellulite or spider veins.   I was surprised Mercedes would want to work there; she really was spilling out of the outfit.  Theresa said that she’d see if they had a bigger belt buckle, she’d have to check with the head manager but in general Mercedes tried on a large and that was the biggest size they had.   If you couldn’t fit the outfit you couldn’t get hired.   

Theresa was actually being really really nice to her and telling her how much of a cute girl with a good

personality she had and she’d love to have her work there blah blah blah.  I thought that was very nice of her and  I thought she gave Mercedes a little too much credit but I guess you have to do that if you are basically rejecting them from a job due to body size.  I don’t know if she was just blowing smoke up her ass or she actually thought there might be a possibility but seeing her in that outfit I just don’t see how that could possibly be.  Mercedes kept joking “I can’t help with what my mom gave me,” and I kept thinking, um well you actually might be able to if you tried.

I tried on my outfit and went in front of Theresa for approval.  She asked if I felt comfortable in the outfit, would I feel comfortable wearing it during work, yes, yes, yada, yada. 

The perfect blond girl and I both got a ‘you made it’.  Yeah! I jumped up for joy like an idiot.  It felt like making the cheerleading squad.  Theresa said that the restaurant would be opening late the next month and she’d contact us for training date specifics.